I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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