Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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