aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
