Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
