Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
