I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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