Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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