I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I understand Curling. That high.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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