I'd wear matching sweaters with you
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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