Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
