Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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