i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i think im in europe. pls send help
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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