Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
