Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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