i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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