Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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