You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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