Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize