And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
