I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
