Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
