Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
