I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
In America we eat man semen.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
