Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
