you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
