Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize