either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
