Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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