you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
