Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I skipped work to stalk him.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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