i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
