this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
