I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
What drink are we having for lunch?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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