Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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