We named our party play list daddy issues
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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