Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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