i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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