Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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