This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
