you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
