I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
