He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
