hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
