I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize