I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
