Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
