I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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