I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
