someone threw a dead crab at me
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
