i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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