well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
