Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
