i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Are we still banned from the library?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
