I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize