I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
