So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
