Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
