i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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