Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
