This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
