it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
