whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
