She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
