i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize