party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
